Ministries

There are times when confrontation must be avoided, or at least delayed. If all you want is to vent your anger on your spouse who has deeply wounded and harmed you, then you'd be better off just backing off for awhile until you are able to process your anger and proceed to address the issue in a more productive manner.

Because conflict is normal in a marriage, there are times when confrontation is very appropriate. But, confrontation must never be a demand that your spouse change, but instead it is more of an opportunity to allow them to see the impact they are having on you and to invite them to change.

Every relationship has conflict in one form or another. Much of it can be worked through successfully if both parties are willing to participate. But sometimes that's not the case. When the other person is unwilling to budge an inch, what does it mean to stand ready to resolve the conflict should there be an opportunity to do so?

Some people avoid conflict like the plague while others can't wait to mix it up in a verbal sparring match. While each chooses a different methodology, both are avoiding real intimacy in the relationship. Each is afraid of taking the risk of getting close.

Taking an honest look at the tensions in your marriage will lead to conflict that can't be avoided. However, the key to handling conflict well isn't to look at your spouse with suggestions of how he or she can change, but to look at yourself and to ask how you can learn to move towards your spouse with more love that builds deeper connection while working through the conflict.

Conflict is unavoidable in marriage. For those who try to avoid it, they are constantly frustrating themselves and their partners in their futile attempts to escape it. Rather than avoid it, we must learn how to walk by faith and take the risk of engaging in the conflict and learning more about ourselves, our spouses, and trusting God at the same time.

Conflict is a product of the Fall that took place in the Garden of Eden. Ever since that day, man and woman have had conflict with each other and conflict with God. The root cause is because of our separation from God and our stubborn commitment to taking care of ourselves at the expense of loving others.

Pouring oneself into a relationship where there is no return from the other person is devastating and discouraging. Tough love is required, but is often confusing. Learning how to evaluate and then engage in a relationship with a destructive person requires patience, discernment, and courage.

Sometimes when people hear the word "codependent" thrown around, they assume that any kind of dependence in a relationship is destructive. Nothing could be further from the truth. Healthy mutual dependence is necessary in order for a relationship to grow and thrive. Learning how to recognize the difference between healthy interdependence and destructive codependency is critical for a relationship to mature.

Codependency is a term that became popularized by the AA community for the last several decades to describe an unhealthy form of dependence on another person for my sense of well-being. Codependency--properly defined--is often the primary reason for marital difficulties. It also plays a huge role in those who have an addicted loved one.

Parenting is an incredible privilege--and a challenge. Raising a son or a daughter from a helpless infant into a mature and responsible adult is filled with opportunities and obstacles. While some of the challenges in this parenting process are more obvious, it's the more subtle challenge of what's going on inside of the parent that catches them off guard.

Marriage is hard because there are many challenges that a couple will face throughout the "for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health" tests of a lifetime. But the greatest challenge may not be from without, but more from within. Learning what it means to be deeply committed to the well-being of another is by far the greatest marital challenge of all because it confronts our inherited commitment to ourselves above all else.

Fortunately, most pastors today realize that coping with mental health issues goes beyond just addressing the spiritual component. Join us as Larry Crabb shares how to avoid oversimplifying mental health issues.

It is impossible to watch or listen to any form of news media and not be struck with how much violence is in the world. The fact that violence erupted between two brother in Genesis 4 and has continued to escalate down through time is verification that there is a bend towards violence that runs through every human heart.

The desperation that fuels a desire to take one's life is real. When someone expresses those kind of life ending thoughts, they need to be taken seriously. However, we often panic, not knowing what to do to help someone who is struggling so deeply. Learning how to not back away but to meaningfully engage can encourage a person to choose living even when life is still difficult.

Life is hard. And if we're honest, it hurts living in a world that is broken. Sometimes the pain and losses simply pile up to the point that we just can see over them. When our vision for what's valuable and important to us is obscured by the pain and losses that have stacked up around us, no longer living in the middle of the chaos can become attractive.

Much has been written in the world of pop psychology and self-help publishing about the concept of "self-image." Is that a good thing, or have we simply become a society obsessed with feeling good about ourselves? Both sides could be argued well. However, self-image, if properly defined, can describe a balanced and healthy way of looking at who God created us to be as image-bearers.

The core of the vast majority of human struggles is selfishness. Being self-centered isn't primarily a psychological problem, but it's a moral sin problem. Addressing our demand to take life into our own hands and to trust no one more than ourselves is what alienates us from God and others.

Cutting and self-harming disorders are on the rise. There are many who feel a profound sense of relief as they see their blood flowing from wounds they have inflicted on themselves. Wracked by deeper pain they can't control, they settle for self-inflicted relief that they can control. In their minds some control is better than no control.

Anxiety is one of the two most prominent reasons individuals report seeking the help of counselors. Anxiety has been described as fear on steroids. But why are people so fearful and dominated by their fears? And what can be done to address those fears?